So I know nobody and I don't give a shit about this but five months ago I was dating this trans guy I loved a lot and that I've never loved anybody and I love them so much that I was willing to do all these things No like anything back from like I gave them my hoodie I gave them my heart I gave them everything I came over to the house when they got time And I hope themselves in shape In the car ride home I was so damn long press because I knew it was all gonna be over that day and I was right I don't know why I loved myself when I was with him I loved my being alive with them made me want to live and made me want to keep going through these emotions and shit that I don't like innately want to live in now Been 54 months and I still can't stop thinking about I am I'm starting to like lose the will to do anything else I don't know what I'm doing I'm so goddamn that every day I just don't wanna get out of bed like I used to be homeless like two months ago and now everything's going great in my life and I don't know how to be happy I just don't know how to be happy