The other night I snuck into the zoo and I let all the animals out of their cages and I blamed it on the zookeeper that was there the other day. So he actually got arrested because the giraffe broke into someone's house and ate his head off so he's dead. So the zookeeper is now in jail for the rest of his life because he let all the animals out.

And that's CAP, ladies and gentlemen.

What are you talking about? Aren't giraffes like vegan or some shit? Like they eat leaves. Where do you get this information from? That is not true.

Was he black? I bet he was black. You're racist.

ZOOEY MAMA! ZOOEY MAMA!

Oh yeah. Amazing story. I 100% believe you. Oh my god. Such an amazing story. Just absolutely fucking fabulous.

um definitely cap because um i think that you would get caught when you and it's who would even kill a person if they were a giraffe like i didn't even know giraffes could even eat heads because like their their neck is too like like long and you can't tilt that much so like what if they were short

That is very capped, ladies and gentlemen.

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I knew it, Stephanie. You did it.