Your mom won't stop farting on my nuts!

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman drop in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean and progress in poverty and squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar? The $10 that a father without a father got a lot farther by working a lot harder, by being a lot smarter, by being self-centered by 14. They placed him in charge of a trading charter, and every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away across the waves, he struggled to keep his guard up. And sad, he was longing for something to be a part of, but the weather was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter. Then a hurricane came and devastation reigned. The man saw his future dripping down the drain, but a pencil to his deck at the home. I can't.