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I won't kill myself because I hurt in the Bible if you kill yourself that's straight to hell That's like a gateway to hell. I'll just die get killed cuz life is already hell. I'm not trying to do that shit over over. So, no.
I choose die because if I died then that basically means that I'm dying for someone else or I died with my life fully fulfilled and serving the Lord. If I kill myself then that just basically means that's a type of death but that particularly means on being selfish.