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You want me to be honest? I'm gonna be brutally honest. You're ugly as fuck, and you're not gonna get any bitches. You're literally a negative 10, like... You are not gonna get no bitches, like, whatsoever.
Okay, I don't know what the fuck everybody else is talking about, but I'm just gonna say this, bro. Why the fuck do you look like handsome Squidward? Butt-fucking disfigured. I feel so bad for saying this shit, but bro, I'm being for real!